CHRISTMAS

it wasn't all bad in the end, as much as i was dreading the whole shebang. the mother-in-law's lunch was typically traditional, except for the bit where the granddaughter cornered Elvis and he scratched the shit out of her face in a desperate attempt to escape her evil grasp. a few tears and a bit of blood, nothing too bad. poor fucking cat, he was terrified.

trekking over to mother's in the afternoon was stressful because i wanted to get there before my sister took her family home. see, the idea of being on my own with my mother on christmas day freaks me out. she'd want me to stay until bedtime or some bullshit, and i'm not capable of spending that much time with the woman.

but thanks to my sister being two hours behind schedule, i managed to see her and the family in one big hit. while it was nice being with my own family on christmas day for a change, my time there can be summed up with this: my mother gave me a white shawl. that's right — a shawl. you know, those scarf things old people wear over their shoulders. AND IT'S WHITE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. complete with those tassle things on the end too. jesus, what the fuck am i going to do with it? my sister got one too, and she summed it up best when she said "let me know when you're going to wear it, because being seen together when we're both wearing it would be just too embarrassing". shit yeah, but at least there'd be someone to share the horror with me.

boxing day was far more interesting, with the father-in-law's family. they totally just sit there and argue the shit out of each other, and it's totally awesome to watch. it took me a while to get used to a 40+ woman saying "fuck" all the time, but not as long as it took for me to get used to a 90+ woman getting in on the action too. she argued like a motherfucker, and is totally my new hero.

with christmas gone, this means that it's only a week until i'm back at work. and i'm finding the thought quite depressing.

JUST LET ME GET BACK TO SLEEP ALREADY

thanks to my mother, any call to my home phone after 10.30 makes me panic.

who would be calling so late? someone must be in trouble!

i've been out of home for almost three years and we've never had a phone call in the middle of the night. until last night.

1.45am and i run to the phone trying to work out who the fuck is in trouble. it's a woman in bateman's bay (WAY south of sydney) wanting help to stop kids doing donuts in her street.

i apologise and tell the woman that i can't help her since i'm IN SYDNEY. at this point, dan stumbles in and is trying to work out who i'm on speakerphone to at this time of night/morning.

this poor woman sounded pretty distressed, and i would be too. it's bad enough hearing the dumbasses doing donuts and comparing the size of their penises at the maccas at the end of the street. but this woman just wouldn't give up. Can You Help Me? she asks. in my weakest, Please Let Me Go Back To Bed Already voice, i explain that as much as i would like to help, it's quite difficult considering i'm a good TWO HOURS away from giving a flying fuck.

when i finally got back to bed, i couldn't get back to sleep. and that really got me shirty. still, the poor woman seemed pretty strung out, i'd like to find out if she got any sleep last night.

"I'M LOVIN' IT"

i'm LOVING being on holidays... It'd be better if this whole crappy Christmas thing wasn't in the middle of it... BAH. i'm totally not dealing with the whole my family/dan's family split christmas thing. i didn't like it last year, and i still don't like this year. our christmas is split over two days now, so my family and dan's mum's on thursday, then dan's dad's on the friday.

did i mention i don't like christmas? i end up buying crappy presents that people don't generally want, and i get the same in return. what a waste of fucking money. next year i am totally ditching the present thing, i'm gonna tell everyone to not buy me presents, and i'll only buy presents for kids. cause that's who christmas is for anyway, right?

anyway, i bought my own mountain bike yesterday. to keep up with dan buying a spiffy new one last week. i haven't had a bike since i was about 12, and i had so much fun riding yesterday, even if i almost stacked it numerous times. and hills, omigod, HILLS. they're a bitch. i have to get my balance happening so i can do the stand up thing, so i'll get there eventually.

but buying a $300+ bike and associated accessories (limited to a helmut and bike rack for the car atm) basically means i'm really not renewing my gym membership when i go back to work next year. but i think biking will be better for me cause i'll be far more motivated, and i'll actually be OUTDOORS and getting SUNLIGHT, so i figure it's all good.

i saw my mother a few days back, we had lunch with the middle sister and her adorable 7 year old. all was fine until mum decided to dig in about how long it's been since i've been to visit her at home. she pulls the same sorta trick on my big sister and my sister gets really upset. so i just ignored her even though i felt like screaming all sort of gutter language at her. besides, i'll be at her place on christmas day, so she can just deal.

motherfucking festive, i am.

i'd like to say that i'd like a normal family and relationship with my mother, but what's normal these days anyway?

OH, LET'S NOT FORGET ROBBIE NOW...

i LOVE robbie. twice. both concerts on the weekend were grouse, i had the best time. bounced a lot during the saturday concert, resulting in sore feet for sunday's concert... but i still had fun, especially taking part in the biggest mexican wave i've ever witnessed. WOW

so lots of robbie, lots of squealing like a teenageer, lots of bare breasts being flashed at robbie — (t)it was great.

i even managed to record a little bit of video on the digicam, just have to copy it to my pc so i can drool again :)

BACK ON THE WAGON (AGAIN)

looks like me an' m'bitch are going camping this weekend... eeek. my first time, so it'll be interesting to see how i cope with the heat, flies and my 20kg pack.

must. pack. aeroguard.

but today i went back to the gym with a new outlook — don't have a fucking asthma attack when hiking to the campsite! so i went hardcore on the treadmill (hill, level 6, speed 6.0) for 25 minutes. i'm really going to miss my personal fan in front of the treadmills when we're hiking!

we went out for dinner to a friend's place last night, but even though the dinner was healthy (and reminded me how much i hate vegetables), we ate WAY too much dessert. mmm, sugar rush.

today i've been relatively good in the food and drink department, just have to make it through to dinnertime, then i should be sweet for the day.

can i go a whole day without coke? TOUGH QUESTION!

SOME ADVICE FOR ALL YOU GEEKS

if you want your girlfriend to get a really bad night's sleep, the surefire way to do it is to start rebuilding your fucking pc ON THE BED AT FUCKING 11PM FUCKING.

i think i should've slept on the couch.

oh yeah, and i got my stitches outta my finger yesterday, only to have the huge gash open right up again. so now i gotta have it bandaged up real tight for another two weeks. all i wanna do is have a shower without having to wear a rubber glove!

THANK FUCK IT'S FRIDAY! HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND INTERNET!

LOOK! I HAVE A LIFE

in an effort to keep track of what i'm doing over the next couple of weeks, here's my Never Usually This Busy calendar for the silly season:

4/12 — stitches finally removed!
6/12 — possibly "getting my colours done"
8/12 — celebrate my youngest nephew's 5th birthday
9/12 — dinner with wendy and amanda for girlie catchup
11/12 — collect christmas hamper from work. work out what to do with two big boxes full of condiments
12/12 — PAY DAY! maybe some after work drinks with the new* people (*new = they moved in 4 months ago and are finally learning how to socialise)
13/12 — Robbie concert #1! going with nat, cathy and cathy's sister. will squeal like a teenager
14/12 — Robbie concert #2! going with cathy. again, will squeal like a teenager
15/12 — dinner at jan's house with gus and nathan. discussion *will* turn smutty
19/12 — LAST DAY AT WORK FOR 2003!

i can't think much further ahead than that. i still don't know what i'm doing on christmas day, but i know i'm still expected to be at two places at once. i'd rather sit on the beach and drink cocktails all day, but my family obligation means that i'll be running around trying to please everyone else.

bah humbug

MY FINGER!

i totally forgot to tell you what happened on thursday.

WELL, because i'm poor, i was making a tuna sandwich for lunch in the kitchen at work. the frickin' ring pull lid was being a right bastard to open, and when it finally did... it sliced a nice 1½cm gash in my right middle finger. but it didn't hurt.

at first.

managed to get to the medical centre near work and got stitches.

i admit i cried a fair bit, mainly because i was freaked out by the Gigantic Gash in my Finger That Was Pissing Blood. Then my finger started to realise what the fuck was going on and decided to feel the pain anyway. that was BEFORE the anaesthetic. the anaesthetic hurt like the most vicious fist-fucker i've ever met. OW OW OW.

but that was six days ago and i've gone from "OMG, I have a hole in my finger" to "OMG, I have stitches! AWESOME!"

but i'm looking forward to getting them removed tomorrow. i can't wait to wash my hair, shave my legs, pat the cat and shag my boyfriend without worrying if my finger is going to split in two.